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Friday, January 23, 2015

Five Chapters

My recovery process was long and arduous, probably most are. As I moved forward into learning a healthier way of living I realized how much false knowledge I had in my head. So many of the things that I thought I knew turned out to be false, skewed, twisted, or misleading. It was weird. 

Eventually my motto became Question Everything. That was how I approached almost everything, from memories I had to so-called common knowledge to rituals to reasons why to motivations. I questioned all of it.

Excessive? Maybe.

But, today, I'm proud of that journey.

That motto Question Everything took me a long way into becoming a healthier person. One day I read another thing that absolutely changed my life. Something simple yet profound. I remember the moment I first read Autobiography in Five Short Chapters by Portia Nelson. I think of the content of this writing as being seminal to almost all recovery.

Anyway, as I was reading it for the first time I realized that I was almost up to IV, and I was feeling great that I could recognize my own recovery journey in the poem, when a question entered my head as I was reading. I thought, WAIT, I can see my journey up to here but I have no idea what comes next. I can't predict what the final, healthy step is; what is V? What is the final chapter? 

 It was a really weird moment to realize that I still wasn't where I wanted to be and I still didn't know how to get there. So I kept reading...X is so obvious to me now.

I am sharing it here with you because this writing, so popular in recovery circles back in the day, is very important to me.

Can you relate?

1 comment:

  1. Hello :)
    I came across your website after my pinning session on pinterest where i found that many images that i saved to my cellphone storage were from your website. And so I decide to visit.

    And I must say, WOW. I can so relate to many of your writings. And really, they gave me better insights. I'm a survivor of two abusive relationships, both physically and emotionally/psychologically. And I have read and learn many articles about narcissistic/psychopath/sociopath behavior ever since because I have got so many unanswered questions in my head and like I've read..the what so called (proper) 'closure' that I've been wanting and waiting for but never happened..

    So I guess, now, I have passed my chapter III. And try my best to keep moving on, to next chapter :)

    Thank you so much for sharing your stories, your insights, and encouragement. I wish and I am hoping I can be someone who can also help those who are suffering and under same circumstances, so they will see the light, and moving into it.

    God bless :)