Imposter Syndrome

 

Let's begin with this, despite your inner narrative,  You are real and you deserve your successes. 

I don't know why most of the human condition is the way that it is. I don't get it why we have to suffer and struggle with painful emotional issues and psychological disorders. It doesn't make sense that our own thoughts would fight us, work against us, undermine us. 

Intellectual fraud, that's what imposter syndrome is, what it feels like. It's the sinking suspicion that you don't deserve your success, that others can see what a phony you are. It's the fundamental inability to accept your accomplishments.

So why am I talking about this?

I remember the day that I realized that I felt like an utter fake.
I was in my late twenties and I was in a position of authority at work. I had an amazing reputation, a reputation that I had earned. But still I felt like a phony. It was weird. What I remember about those years, thirty years ago, is that I was working hard. Staying late. Doing more. Always learning. No one gave it to me; I earned it. So why did I feel so unworthy? It was weird.

And, know what? It's not uncommon.
You might have experienced it before.
Many successful, hard working people experience it at some point in their life.


What To Do About It?

Remember this one thing: Thoughts and feelings aren't facts.
First, realize that the script in your head needs rewriting. So start out by riding the fear and doubt and by continuing to do your thing. Then, start saying nice things to yourself, possibly including reminding yourself of your successes, your accomplishments, your best qualities. Notice the positive feedback others are giving you without discounting that feedback.

Feeling like a fraud is an unfair attack on yourself. Our brains are bizarre things. Let's acknowledge that, remember that. Because our thoughts and feelings aren't facts, yet we are responding to them as though they are. They are merely events happening in our brains. Powerful, yet not real. While success and accomplishment happen in the world, outside of our brains.

Another thing to do to for yourself, ask your trusted friends or co workers to help you figure out your positive qualities. Ask them to help you bust the fraud idea with reality. Get some help enumerating your steps to success. Figure out what you mean by success. What would make you a real success? Figure out those points.

And then, create successes for yourself. Engage in activities that bring you small successes, that remind you that you are a worthy and accomplished human being. Take some time to look for evidence of your quality or success. Go out and make achievements your bitch. You're not fake; in fact, you're trying hard. You're not just charming; in fact, you're actually qualified. You're not lucky; in fact, you've earned your place. And the odds are totally against chance.