No apologies.
No support.
No acknowledgement of misdoings.
No encouragement toward healthy choices.
No explanations.
No clearing of the air.
No closure.
No validation of your effort.
No love for the real you.
No care for the vulnerable you.
No acceptance.
No end to the drama.
Maybe it is your partner. Maybe it is your parent, your child, your church or pastor, your boss, your best friend, your belief system, your community, or any other toxic entity. You are a kind, vulnerable, loving person who has been targeted by someone or by something and you are now disempowered.
Disempowered
Disempowered does not mean that you have no power.
It means that your personal power has been systematically removed from you.
How?
Probably in ways that seem ironic.
By complimenting you.
By saying how necessary you are.
By saying how capable you are.
By saying how strong you are.
By calling you beautiful.
By saying that you are their everything.
By saying that no one compares to you.
By saying that they need you.
By saying that their world revolves around you.
By saying that you brought them back to life.
By saying how kind you are.
By being attracted to your innocence.
By finding your sensitivity attractive.
Regaining the Power
Locating your own personal power may seem like a very lofty goal right now; it may even feel like an impossible goal because you have felt so wounded and fragile, culpable and to blame, inadequate, undeserving, or unlovable for so long. Remember, there was a YOU before this toxicity took you away from yourself and that YOU is still there, waiting for rediscovery.
First, even before you believe it, even before you move forward, even before you believe you deserve it, even before you begin to believe in yourself, and even before your mind and body feels strong enough, know this: that toxic party does not own you.
YOU own you.
- There is one person inside of your head and it is YOU.
- There is one person who has power over your body and it is YOU.
- There is one person to whom you owe life and that is YOU.
- There is a person you can count on and that is YOU.
- There is a person who can make every effort on your behalf and that is YOU.
- There is a person who will always be there for you and that is YOU.
- There is a person who will never, ever leave you and that is YOU.
- There is a person with the power to completely forgive you and to thoroughly heal your pain and that is YOU.
- There is a person with the ability to comfort you and bring you home and that is YOU.
- There is a person who is your own personal cheerleader and that is YOU.
- There is a person who knows all you have done and all you have not done and still loves you and that person is YOU.
- There is a person who helps you make better and better decisions each day and that is YOU.
- There is a person with the ability to weigh choices and opportunities and to figure out what to do with your life and that is YOU.
- There is a person with the ability to reach out for help and to grow in new and unthinkable ways that that person is YOU.
- There is a person with a wealth of personhood that they will blog their own damn mind and that person is YOU.
- There is a person who makes mistakes but who will always have your back and that is YOU.
. - There is a person who struggles, fails, feels like hiding, fights to feel worthy, is unsure of their own worth, doubts, fears, cries, gets back up, tries again, tries harder, and who deserves your love and attention, no exceptions, and that person is YOU.
困在軀殼中的心 依然努力掙扎 尋找出口 停不住的眼淚 顫抖地身殼 依舊倔將 不要墮落 無能絕不可接受 這帶給我一絲溫暖...
ReplyDeleteSorry, I did not follow why you say that phrases like
ReplyDeleteBy complimenting you.
By saying how necessary you are.
By saying how capable you are.
By saying how strong you are.
can be disempowering ?
Could you please explain that ?
Tks
HB
Hi HB. :)
DeleteIn this case, this is referring to when a person might get into a relationship with someone who turns out to be abusive and toxic. That toxic person starts out "grooming" their new relationship partner with words such as these. Of course these compliments slowly turn into statements of abuse.
For example, this post: http://mitlight.blogspot.com/2014/12/recovery-from-emotional-abuse.html
DeleteThank you Karen, I got it now. HB.
Delete