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Wednesday, July 22, 2015

I'm a Burden

I suck. i wish i would die. i'm a burden. i suck. i wanna die. i hate myself. I hate myself. I'm a pain in the ass. i'm sick of myself.
Some days are worse than others and these are the worst. You feel as though you are being a tremendous pain in the ass. You hate yourself and wish your life would end. You are certain that the people in your life are weary of your pain. Surely your needs are difficult to handle and everyone is exhausted of the nuisance that is your life. 
It feels like a relentless load, your life, and you fear that the people in your life consider you to be an plague to have around.

The truth of the matter is that you need help.
That fact doesn't make you unlovable.

Every person on the planet requires help at some point. Every one of us requires a hand up. Some periods of crisis and need last far longer than we like. It is embarrassing. It feels shameful. 

Maybe your behavior has been appalling.
Maybe you are unpleasant to be around.

Maybe you have acted in ways that embarrass you and that tax others.
Maybe you feel as though you are falling apart.
Maybe you and your support people feel incredibly powerless and sad by your struggles.
Maybe you feel too needy.
Too sensitive.
Pathetic.

This is one of those times of your life when you are on the receiving end of help. Later in your life you will be on the giving end. One day you will be on your feet, standing tall...and when you are you will offer your hand and your heart to those around you who feel like a burden to those around them. You will understand completely.

For this moment of your life you are on the receiving end. 

And still, STILL you are lovable. You are worthy. You are deserving of love and care and kindness.


1 comment:

  1. This. These words are beautiful and I needed to hear them. Thank you. Sometimes I get to be on the receiving end and that's okay.

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