Moving Forward. At Last.

It's not true, you know.
They have made us feel this way.
They have criticized, corrected, sarcasmed, controlled, abused us into thinking that we can't do a single thing right.

We feel half alive, we feel like we can't do the simplest of things right, we can't speak up, our voices tremble, we mumble, we feel as though we are broken or faulty, we can't face new projects, we feel personally responsible for failures of the system around us, we don't trust our own perceptions or memories, we carry shame, our relationships take more than we have to give, we feel overwhelmed, we feel invisible, our bodies don't feel real, we fully expect to fail, we think we have no value, we never feel good enough.

It is now clear that the people around us will not change or help. They are not interested in seeing us feel better. They deny having any part in our demise. They blame us too. They seem to jump on our errors. They can't see our floundering... our drowning...

We wonder How much of this do I have to take?

OK.
OKAY, ENOUGH.

We now know that it is up to us to make the changes. We have read enough to get started. We know that there are resources out there to help. We know who will support us, cheer us on, give witness to our risk. We know that it is our next move. We know that the choice is ours. The spark is there, the desire is there. We are no longer putting it off, closing our eyes and sleepwalking. We have the power inside, the power to take that single step forward...away...towards.

Without knowing where that first footfall will take us, we can take the first step down this road that we are creating. Without seeing a destination, we can know that the journey is valuable, constructive, ...worthy. Without a single other witness, we can reach toward that which we yearn.

What is at the end of the journey?
We are.
I am.

We deserve this.
I deserve this.